Let's Try This Again...

I've struggled with my weight since I was born. Growing up as an overweight child is not something I wish on anyone. I've been made fun of, talked about, stared at (the list goes on) my whole life. I can't remember a time when I was able to wear clothes appropriate for my age because I didn't fit into them. I didn't partake in the same activities as kids my age because I was so self conscious. Everything I do and everywhere I go, I just know that everyone looking at me is thinking "Oh, my God. Look at the fat girl!" It wasn't until a couple years ago that I was finally able to come to terms with my weight and love myself regardless. But recently, the feelings of being a fat little kid have resurfaced, and I realize I shouldn't come to terms with this. This is not a burden I should carry for the rest of my life. It's not something I should learn to live with. I need to make a change...for myself, my family, my future children.

I cannot count how many times I've tried to lose weight throughout my life. I've tried every diet out there. I've worked with countless personal trainers. I've joined dozens of gyms. Initially, the weight comes off quickly and I think to myself "I can do this!" It's at about the two month mark that I start to get frustrated. I reach my ever looming twenty-pound plateau. It doesn't take long after that before I give up. My problem is, I make the same mistake every time. I decide that I need to finally lose the weight once and for all! I give my pantry a makeover. I change all of my eating habits. I change my workout habits. I go hardcore for my goals! I deprive myself of everything I really want to eat. That's my downfall every time. So this time, I'm doing things differently!

First, I'm taking baby steps. I'm starting with small goals instead of looking at the big picture. I will gradually introduce working out into my lifestyle so that it becomes a habit and not a chore. I will slowly and smartly change my eating habits so that I don't feel like I'm missing out on everything that I really want to be eating (i.e. chocolate). This way, it will become a lifestyle and not a diet.

Second, I'm telling EVERYONE! So many times before, I've kept my weight loss goals a secret from the people around me because, let's face it, it's embarrassing to admit you have a problem with yourself. It's so hard to make good choices while trying to hide it from everyone around you. Let me rephrase that...It's impossible to make good choices while hiding it from everyone. This time, I am depending on the people around me to be my support system. My coworkers will remind me not to get that burger and fries I so desperately want for lunch. My husband will help me remember to cook something healthy for dinner...and to eat more vegetables (ugh).

Third, I'm documenting it! What better way to achieve my goals than to have them posted online for all the world to see? I will probably think twice before eating raw cookie dough straight out of the package if I know I have to answer to the internet afterward. I want to share this journey with all of you. I encourage you to give me feedback, encouragement, advice, constructive criticism (please note, I said constructive). I want to know who is reading and watching my journey unfold. With people behind me, I really believe that this will be the time I finally reach my goal! (I figure, the more people I let down by not following through with this, the easier it will be to do...right?) Also, I hope I can be an inspiration to anyone else in my situation. We don't have to live our lives like this. We can make changes and become on the outside the way we feel on the inside! We deserve this!

I will try to post daily. I will document my goals, my frustrations, my motivation, my emotions. I'll try out new recipes and foods and share them with you. I'm ready to do this. This time will be different!