Stress

Stress is my biggest down fall when it comes to achieving my goals. I don't handle stress well, and my first instinct when I get upset about something is to eat. I am a text book "Emotional Eater."

I did really well last week. The meal planning really helped me stay on track, and even on days when we veered from the planned menu, I still kept things very healthy. I also worked out a few times last week, and I kept track of everything in my new planner. When the weekend hit, it was kind of a different story. I'm incredibly stressed out over things at work and a few other things. My problem is that I don't just stress...I obsess. I can't stop thinking about whatever is bothering me until it is resolved...even if that takes weeks. The weekend didn't go so well. I didn't cook much and I just munched on anything I could get my hands on. I had the intention of going to the park for a long walk/jog on Saturday, but I was overwhelmed by my stress so all I did was lay in bed all weekend.

Yesterday, I did better during the day. I ate pretty healthy meals, but as the day went on, and things got more and more stressful at work, all I wanted was a bag of Lay's Sour Cream and Onion chips. Not the baked ones. The real ones. I get these random cravings and I can't stop thinking about them until I indulge. I ignored my craving all day, and made dinner for Joel and I when I got home. I made whole wheat pasta with ground turkey and tomato sauce because it was something easy and I didn't have it in me to make anything complicated. I also made a loaf of fresh bread in my bread maker with the intention of having one piece with dinner and then bringing some to work today to have with my lunch. Well, that didn't happen. Joel and I ate the ENTIRE loaf of bread. We just kept going back and getting another piece and another piece. I had no control. I kept thinking I should really stop eating, but I just wanted one more piece of bread, and before I knew it, the whole loaf was gone.

I don't know what it is about stress, but it's like I can't control myself when I'm stressed out. I become overwhelmed by every little thing. Even cooking dinner, something I normally love to do, becomes a huge chore. I have to figure out a way to deal with my stress that doesn't include eating. Emotional eating is a huge reason why I've become so overweight, but it's an incredibly difficult cycle to break. When I'm happy, I am completely focused and determined, but once anything remotely stressful happens, I lose it. I need to figure out how to break this cycle.